Black Widow
by dr-canis-horriblus
Summary: **Possible trigger warning** Barney has a nightmare. Based loosely on the fate of Neil Patrick Harris's character, Desi, in the film, Gone Girl. This fic is gory, so proceed with caution. Some AU-ish material is present here as well.


The blonde standing across from Barney at the bar seemed so innocuous. So innocent, yet with a touch of bite, a little prickle of danger in her eyes, just the kind that he enjoyed- an easy target. He adjusted his tie before sauntering over to her. She seemed to be very unique, to say the least, as one of the first things she told Barney was that she often held seances, as well as once tried to communicate with Elvis's spirit through a Ouija Board- possibly not things that Barney would ever even want to touch with a ten-foot pole, but it didn't matter, as she would become just another one of his conquests in time.

After talking for a little while longer and knocking back a few drinks, the two shared a cab- just he and this crazy girl, who called herself Jeanette.

They made their way up to his apartment, and began making out instantaneously. She was an odd kisser- her teeth met with his a few times, causing him to pull back, and not only that, but she also bit his lip far too many times as well. It was almost as if she were trying to consume him whole, like a python with a monkey in its coils.

They were on the bed before they knew it. She was rough- almost a little too much, even for Barney, and ripped the tie off of him with such brute force that it left a burning sensation around the back of his neck- she had probably damaged it in her strength.

Barney ignored this and they went about as she aggressively disrobed him, causing his heart to beat quickly by either slight fear or possibly arousal; he could not be sure.

He had been with many certainly strange women in his time, but he didn't know if he'd ever encountered one like this. Had he gone too far? Probably not, he thought.

_God, she's hot!_

Their scene of lovemaking- or whatever it was- went on for a decent amount of time. At the end of it all, Barney felt no worse than he had in the past. Regardless of how insane he regarded this one as, he actually felt pretty great.

Jeanette felt the bedspread until her fingers wrapped around just what she was searching for- a box cutter, sharp as an authentic dagger, concealed in the blankets.

Barney had zero seconds to react before she traced the knife across his throat, releasing a spray of blood that shot warm crimson all over her. She saw no use in stabbing him again, for he was already a goner. A bleeder too, it soon became apparent, as the blood from the wound slashed into his throat kept pouring out, soaking into the bed.

It wasn't long at all before his body, sprawled out, naked, went still, limp, in a puddle of warm, glistening red..

Jeanette had made it her goal to conquer yet another victim. And she had succeeded. She truly had. She redressed herself before turning and looking back at her latest prey.

She felt not even the slightest twinge of remorse for him.

* * *

><p>Barney awoke from his sleep, heart racing, in a cold sweat. He must have screamed out loud, as Robin stirred next to him.<p>

Tiredly, she asked, "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah," he breathed out. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I had a…" he gulped. "A really bad dream. But I'm okay now."

Robin turned over to him and reassuringly rubbed his chest. "Was it about Jeanette again?" she inquired. "She's gone, Barney. You don't have to worry about her."

"I know," Barney replied. He laughed nervously. "She's gone. I'm awesome enough to take care of that ol' witch anyway, so…I'm good."

"And even if she should come around," Robin continued, "you're with me now. If that psychopath tries anything, I'll make her pay, got it?"

Barney nodded. "Right."

Robin fell asleep soon after, snuggled up next to him. Barney could never really explain to Robin the root of these nightmares, however. They were reoccurring, and laid within reality. The affair he had once had with Jeanette had scarred him a bit- but it was over now. Every day, he thanked God, whatever possible gods there were, and the universe itself that he was with Robin now and not exposing himself to hot women that were likely insane. Those days were over. And man, was he glad.

Barney was asleep shortly, and, holding Robin's hand, he dreamed peacefully.


End file.
